I could sit here and lie about what has been running through my mind lately and tell you everything has been going good but what good with that do. It has been a rough couple of weeks. I have good days, very good days, and very bad days. The depression hits just like waves hit the shore of the beach. There is no controlling it. There is no hiding it. My ex has moved out this weekend and I thought I was going to be okay with it but nobody ever really prepares you for how lonely it is. I wake up alone and I go to bed alone. I watch junk tv all day and drink bottles of wine at night. I know I should be doing more productive healthier things with my time but I also deserve some time to process. Living on my own for the first time ever at 31 has been scary as hell. I want to be strong for my daughter so I make sure to put on a happy face for her but on the inside I am completely crumbling. Last night I drank an entire bottle of wine, watched reality TV and make mac and cheese for dinner. It was what I needed at the moment and I went for it. I know time will eventually heal me or maybe it won’t. I do have hope that things will get better and I will stop getting hit by so many depression waves.
Thanks for reading!