I remember the first time I thought about death. I was about 12 years old and I was getting out of the shower. It hit me like a massive ton of bricks….I was going to die someday. As fast as the thought came, it left. Over the years I have had the same recurring thoughts, I am going to die one day and I don’t know when that day will be. For someone who suffers from anxiety, fear of the unknown is the worst.
Not having everything planned out is a huge contributor to my anxiety and for obvious reasons I can’t plan my death or know when or how I will die. It’s a very scary reality for me. This is one thing I have worked on over and over in therapy and I don’t think there is anything I can do or say to myself to make it better. I do pray for peace knowing that when it’s my time to go, there is nothing I can do about it and that scares the SHIT out of me.
Thanks for reading,
Heather
