When I think about myself I do not think of myself as a person who is capable of depression. I think of myself as anxious but not depressed. When I go to the doctor’s office and fill out new paperwork and there is a checkbox next to depression I am always hesitant to check it. I have learned over the last couple of years that if I leave my anxiety untreated, I will become very depressed.
I have been there. I have been on level zero. I have hit rock bottom. I have sat on the floor and pleaded for my husband not to leave me (my anxiety told me he would leave me and still does). Just like anxiety, depression looks different on everyone. It makes me so sad knowing that so many people on this earth are ashamed of having depression and won’t seek treatment for fear of looking stupid or other people finding out.
Now that I have hit level zero, I know the only way to go now is up. If you are struggling, reach out to anyone. I think saying something to anyone is better than doing nothing at all. I still occasionally struggle with depression even while I am on medication. (Side note: being on antidepressants doesn’t automatically make you anti-depressed)
My final word of advice is to reach out. Talk about it more. The more people who talk, the more conversations we can have and the more normal it will become.
If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifelife at 1-800-273-8255 or if you would rather text, you can reach the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
Thanks for reading!